I preface this entry by saying this is the beginning chapter to the book I started writing after my trip to New Zealand in January 2008. That trip transformed my life, re-igniting my passion for travel, the desire to move to New Zealand and the journey I am currently on.
"This is not what I expected" is what I keep telling myself. In all honestly I didn't know quite what to expect before I started the 33 hour airport hopping adventure that took me from Washington, DC to Auckland New Zealand on January 12th 2008. I do however know that when I booked the plane tickets last September I wasn't expecting the whole process to be emotional and self explorative.
Its been almost 4 years since I returned to the US after living abroad in London for 7 months on what had been the most life changing and eye opening experience to date. The things I had learned on that trip transformed me in ways I had never thought possible through gaining this knowledge of other cultures and an unquenchable thirst to continue traveling. Since I could no longer stay in the UK due to the lack of securing an extended visa, and the majority of 21 housemates and now friends were from Australia and New Zealand, I vowed to only spend two years living in Washington DC working as an architect and then continue my travels on to Australia and New Zealand. The personal desire I had was to not become a stereotypical American working a a job I didn't fully enjoy only to pay the bills, support the family and provide a house in the "burbs" with a white picket fence. "Only Two Years" I said.
Two jobs, three different living situations, 36 months, and zero buildings actually constructed later I was starting to feel disappointed that I had "settled in Washington and never fulfilled my Austraila/New Zealand adventure. Meanwhile my project manager was about to head to NZ for a two week honeymoon and another co-worker had recently quit her interior design job to move to New Zealand for a year and work at a winery. While feeling even worse about my situation I received an email from my friend Faye. Faye and her fiance Niall had lived across the hall from me in London and she was emailing to let me know that they had set a wedding date for January 17th 2008 in New Zealand. Immediately checking bank account balances versus credit card balances, the price of plane tickets, vacation days and creating a budget, I realized with some saving, of both money and vacation days, I could make this a feasible 3 week trip. I booked the tickets at a "reasonable" $1700, received a 120 hour vacation request sign off from the bosses, and saved enough money while at the same time paying off my credit cards.
10 months of strategic planning were about to pay off. The countdown to my three week New Zealand adventure had begun. For some reason though I couldn't fully get excited for it the weeks leading up. There was something that was holding me back! I had done exactly what I was fearing from the time I moved to DC, I had settled. There was a stable group of friends, a nice house to live in, a job that I loved and was comfortable in, and a certain life satisfaction. Was I no longer the adventurous girl who moved to London on her own? Was I no longer the free spirit who wanted to commit herself to a life of travel? More importantly who had I become? The week leading up to departure I decided to avoid thinking about the reasons I was not completely excited about this trip and focus on the practicalities of physical preparation, packing clothes, making mix cds, sorting out everything at work.
Departure day came, my aunt and cousin brought me to the airport. 3 hours in the airport later I boarded plane number 1 for LAX. A 767 with only 60 people aboard, everyone was able to take up their own row. I was sprawled between two seats while watching the movie in Spanish because the sound on the English station sounded much like a radio station based 50 miles away. I arrived at LAX prepared for my 7 hour layover with books, soduku, and my Ipod. 9.5 hours later at 4:30 am LA time, plane number 2 started boarding. Wedged in between a large older Fijian woman and a Swedish guy who reaked of boozed and had stolen my window seat I became scared that this 10 hour flight was going to make the 9.5 hour layover feel like a margarita on a hot summer day. Five rum and cokes consumed later, by the Swedish oil boat captain, we landed in Fiji. Luckily all of the connecting flights were delayed due to our flight and the Fiji layover was only 45 minutes.
The first ounces of excitement that shocked my body were on the runway approach to Fiji's Nadi Airport when I witnessed the beautiful hills and islands of a land so foreign to anything I had experienced before. I switched planes and flew and easy three more hours to Auckland. Suddenly realizing that my 33 hour journey was over I hopped off the plane, grabbed my bags, got another stamp in my passport at customs, bought a New Zealand SIM card for my cell phone and picked up the rental car I would be touring around with for the next three weeks, a Nissan Bluebird.
Driving on the opposite side of the road from what I am accustom to came somewhat naturally as I had rented several cars in London during my stay there. However as I made the drive into downtown Auckland to find my hostel, I couldn't seem to remember that the turn signal was also on the opposite side of the wheel. Every time I would try to signal left the windshield wipers would violently thrash across the dry glass, while also causing me to panic as I am trying to locate the actual signal, read the map, and remember that while turning left I need to again end up on the left side of the road. Some how I successfully found the hostel in downtown Auckland along with an adjacent parking lot that was $8 for the night. I grabbed the bags from the car and checked into "Nomad's Fat Camel" hostel.
Upon entering my temporary single room for the night all I could think was "I cant believe I'm staying in hostels primarily for the next 3 weeks". The room wasn't horrible but it definitely wasn't my room at home. This was also the only night I booked a room for myself since finances dictated that I stay in "mixed dorms" of the 4 and 6 bed variety. The flight was long and I had transferred twice so the decision was to "splurge" on a single the first evening. After a quick shower which would be the first of many hostel showers, I decided to explore the town a little before dusk set in. I walked up to queen street and thought that I might wander towards the waterfront. I made it two blocks before an older man who was some what suspect stopped me proceeding to ask if I was Egyptian followed by Iranian. I became very disturbed by this interaction and decided to just continue on my way. Bothered by that situation and realizing that darkness was about to set in on this newly discovered city I decided to simply walk around the block and return to the hostel. On the return I noticed the hostel seems to be located next to a variety of "gentlemens clubs". All I could think was "great I pick the hostel in the Auckland red light district". This was only to be the beginning.
Returning to the hostel, I checked myself into the hostel bar. With the room comes a free dinner at the bar and on this night the dinner special was spaghetti carbonara which I paired with a glass of Local New Zealand savignion blanc. Suddenly I received a text from my friend Ameilia who was another of my housemates in London. She had recently returned to NZ after extending her London stay to 4 years. Just happening to be 5 minutes away from where I was situated she said she would be right over for a drink and to catch up. It had been three years since I last saw Ameilia in London when I had traveled back for my 25th birthday weekend. She was the first of my London kiwi friends that I met up with and it was so good to see a familiar face after the longest trip of my life. We chatted about everything from where all of the 20 St Pauls crew were now, how our lives were going, to how crazy it was that we were meeting up in New Zealand. After a few drinks and a few trips down memory lane it was time for me to enjoy my single bedroom complete with double bed. I was to meet up with Faye's friends Anya and Hayes at 8am in the morning to begin the trek to Mahia Beach. Ameilia and I said goodbye and agreed to meet up in Auckland on my return before departure for the states.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Homesick
Well I know I have been a bit lax on updating my blog, there is just so much I want to catch up on that I keep putting it off. Well no more! I have decided to just write, and intermittently post the missed experiences!
So what has been going on in the life of Kristen M. Neri?? Well alot and not so much at the same time. The past month has been a bit rough, I have been tossed around by my clients who orriginally promised ongoing work at great rates but whom I havent heard from in 3 weeks, am running short on cash, am no longer allowed to hang out with someone I thought was one of my closest friends, have been dealing with my crazy roommate who is driving me up a wall, and have been constantly questioning my decision to leave my somewhat coush and comfortable DC lifestyle for an unsettled and challenging adventure on the otherside of the planet. Yeah I know thats alot!
I guess its all impart due to the onset of autumn and cold weather, a VERY different May than I have ever experienced before. In the states the fall is filled with picking pumpkins and apples, the smell of cinnamon, holiday parties, and family. Each month has a holiday; Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas all help the population forget its getting cold and that summer is a thing of the past. Not here, it just gets cold, rainy and windy without anything to distract. Being surounded by beautiful beaches is a cruel reminder of the warmer weather and summer fun. So all of this has made me a bit homesick for DC, and what has not helped is the constant media reminder of my beloved former city. Every day DC is on the news, if not also on random TV programs. This past week Michelle and Barack went to dinner in Georgetown and the news featured a 5 minute segment on their date night in my former work neighborhood. I was going to a job interview the other day and there was a HUGE billboard for Sky News with a picture of the Capitol Building featured, 5 blocks from my former house and a daily sight on my bike ride home down the national mall. I had it all, a great job, good friends, a steady income, hand picked designer furniture, a life. And the thought of settling down scared me away to this foreign land, I know had I stayed I would always want to have moved here, and wouldnt have been happy with it anyways.
Well I figured I needed to get out of my funk, and what better way than just celebrating my american life. I had a HUGE craving for american pizza that could not be filled by new zealand pizza, as they like the wierdest kinds of pizza here, believe me I tried. So last night, as a last resort, I ordered Pizza Hut, got a big bottle of mountain dew, watched the E! channel and Mean Girls. I followed it up this morning with a dose of starbucks mocha coffee and spent an unusual sunny day walking around the lambton quay, the shopping district. I also decided to go to the place I knew I could find solice, the architecture section of Borders and had a brief calming moment when looking at an Eero Sarinen book and sipping my mocha brought me back to the National Building Muesum and docent training.
I also purchased the book "Eat, Pray, Love", a book about a woman who felt trapped in her former coush lifestyle and marrage then after many moments depressed in her bathroom staring at the grout gave it all up and traveled to Italy, India, and Bali finding what it was she didnt know she was looking for. Just reading the begining I started to be reminded of the book I started writing durring my travels to New Zealand last year, a trip that opened me back up to my exploring way, a huge side of my personality that had been pushed aside due to my comfy DC lifestyle. I only had writen about the pre-trip transformation and my first day, not being able to bring myself to write about the emotional Mahia experience, and subsequently the rest of my life transforming journey which innevitably brought me to this very point I am at today. (Anyways I think now might be the time to post that first chapter and will link it to this post; http://wanderlustneri.blogspot.com/2009/05/new-zealand-trip-2008-chapter-1.html ). So im going to start reading this book, and maybe It can help guide me through the next month, and bide sometime before the snowboarding season begins mid June (I did recently purchase my season pass for a discount $2oo US). Ok of to writing the next post!
So what has been going on in the life of Kristen M. Neri?? Well alot and not so much at the same time. The past month has been a bit rough, I have been tossed around by my clients who orriginally promised ongoing work at great rates but whom I havent heard from in 3 weeks, am running short on cash, am no longer allowed to hang out with someone I thought was one of my closest friends, have been dealing with my crazy roommate who is driving me up a wall, and have been constantly questioning my decision to leave my somewhat coush and comfortable DC lifestyle for an unsettled and challenging adventure on the otherside of the planet. Yeah I know thats alot!
I guess its all impart due to the onset of autumn and cold weather, a VERY different May than I have ever experienced before. In the states the fall is filled with picking pumpkins and apples, the smell of cinnamon, holiday parties, and family. Each month has a holiday; Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas all help the population forget its getting cold and that summer is a thing of the past. Not here, it just gets cold, rainy and windy without anything to distract. Being surounded by beautiful beaches is a cruel reminder of the warmer weather and summer fun. So all of this has made me a bit homesick for DC, and what has not helped is the constant media reminder of my beloved former city. Every day DC is on the news, if not also on random TV programs. This past week Michelle and Barack went to dinner in Georgetown and the news featured a 5 minute segment on their date night in my former work neighborhood. I was going to a job interview the other day and there was a HUGE billboard for Sky News with a picture of the Capitol Building featured, 5 blocks from my former house and a daily sight on my bike ride home down the national mall. I had it all, a great job, good friends, a steady income, hand picked designer furniture, a life. And the thought of settling down scared me away to this foreign land, I know had I stayed I would always want to have moved here, and wouldnt have been happy with it anyways.
Well I figured I needed to get out of my funk, and what better way than just celebrating my american life. I had a HUGE craving for american pizza that could not be filled by new zealand pizza, as they like the wierdest kinds of pizza here, believe me I tried. So last night, as a last resort, I ordered Pizza Hut, got a big bottle of mountain dew, watched the E! channel and Mean Girls. I followed it up this morning with a dose of starbucks mocha coffee and spent an unusual sunny day walking around the lambton quay, the shopping district. I also decided to go to the place I knew I could find solice, the architecture section of Borders and had a brief calming moment when looking at an Eero Sarinen book and sipping my mocha brought me back to the National Building Muesum and docent training.
I also purchased the book "Eat, Pray, Love", a book about a woman who felt trapped in her former coush lifestyle and marrage then after many moments depressed in her bathroom staring at the grout gave it all up and traveled to Italy, India, and Bali finding what it was she didnt know she was looking for. Just reading the begining I started to be reminded of the book I started writing durring my travels to New Zealand last year, a trip that opened me back up to my exploring way, a huge side of my personality that had been pushed aside due to my comfy DC lifestyle. I only had writen about the pre-trip transformation and my first day, not being able to bring myself to write about the emotional Mahia experience, and subsequently the rest of my life transforming journey which innevitably brought me to this very point I am at today. (Anyways I think now might be the time to post that first chapter and will link it to this post; http://wanderlustneri.blogspot.com/2009/05/new-zealand-trip-2008-chapter-1.html ). So im going to start reading this book, and maybe It can help guide me through the next month, and bide sometime before the snowboarding season begins mid June (I did recently purchase my season pass for a discount $2oo US). Ok of to writing the next post!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Wellington Culture
When moving here I knew there was something special about this city. Having visited and Neil’s subsequent emails depicting this culture of artistic "musos" I knew something was awaiting me. However I have officially been blown away by Welly. It exists as the utopian creative environment. One not based on competition and individual "creative rights", which was fully evident by the kiwi reaction to a government creative rights act forcing ISP providers to shut down accounts of users who downloaded illegally and brought into light the issue of musical “sampling”, but a fully idealistic collective environment. Every band, every artist has their own unique persona with the refined delicacy of an aged artisan that comes only from a true community collaborative.
My days are spent job searching and exploring my new city, with a bit of Dr Phil and Oprah sprinkled in for good measure. Bt at night, on those that I hit the town, I go to local bars, each with their own flare, and each always has some random local band. One would expect random local bands to have a certain un-cuaffed grit that can either define or break them, however here in artistic utopia all are surprisingly well polished. I have yet to see a band that screeched or seemed as if they were in their early musical infancy. This stems from the collective atmosphere I seem to love about this place. There is something to be said fro an environment where constructive criticism is not just cherished but expected. Apparently the result is Awesomeness!
When on my First Job “excursions”, I can’t really call them interviews as they were more of a meet and greet, an honest conversation about experiences and current economic trends, each place recommended other firms to check out. When I went to Izzat they talked about designers in their “group” that they could contact to help me should their 2D needs not work out. Each firm I have met with, be it architecture or design, has suggested other firms around town that might be hiring or more likely doing what I’m interested in. In the states you would never invite a candidate in, then refer them to your competitor down the street. In wellington it is this weird “socialism at its best” mentality and coming from a capitalistic environment where even saying you had something to do with a competitor is an automatic dismissal unless it works for the first person is extremely refreshing.
What supports this socialist attitude, with the emphasis on social, is the café culture. With countless cafes serving the most amazing coffee it took me a full month to adjust to the caffeination amounts in one tiny flat white (a single shot of espresso with steamed milk). People here just seem to have the café lifestyle once through to limit itself to Impressionist/cubist Europe at the turn of the 19th/20th century. There is no artistic pretentiousness here like you find in London or New York City but a community of likeminded people who put their art and lifestyle ahead of personal recognition.
I LOVE IT!
My days are spent job searching and exploring my new city, with a bit of Dr Phil and Oprah sprinkled in for good measure. Bt at night, on those that I hit the town, I go to local bars, each with their own flare, and each always has some random local band. One would expect random local bands to have a certain un-cuaffed grit that can either define or break them, however here in artistic utopia all are surprisingly well polished. I have yet to see a band that screeched or seemed as if they were in their early musical infancy. This stems from the collective atmosphere I seem to love about this place. There is something to be said fro an environment where constructive criticism is not just cherished but expected. Apparently the result is Awesomeness!
When on my First Job “excursions”, I can’t really call them interviews as they were more of a meet and greet, an honest conversation about experiences and current economic trends, each place recommended other firms to check out. When I went to Izzat they talked about designers in their “group” that they could contact to help me should their 2D needs not work out. Each firm I have met with, be it architecture or design, has suggested other firms around town that might be hiring or more likely doing what I’m interested in. In the states you would never invite a candidate in, then refer them to your competitor down the street. In wellington it is this weird “socialism at its best” mentality and coming from a capitalistic environment where even saying you had something to do with a competitor is an automatic dismissal unless it works for the first person is extremely refreshing.
What supports this socialist attitude, with the emphasis on social, is the café culture. With countless cafes serving the most amazing coffee it took me a full month to adjust to the caffeination amounts in one tiny flat white (a single shot of espresso with steamed milk). People here just seem to have the café lifestyle once through to limit itself to Impressionist/cubist Europe at the turn of the 19th/20th century. There is no artistic pretentiousness here like you find in London or New York City but a community of likeminded people who put their art and lifestyle ahead of personal recognition.
I LOVE IT!
Friday, March 20, 2009
The Job Hunt
The job search has been an interesting prospect. I have learned that given this world economy architecture jobs are not as easy to come by.
I spent the first two weeks in Wellington, post flatmate search, working on my resume. Of course being Kristen M. Neri I could not just let my resume be a black and white list of achievements and experiences but had to make it something truly Kristen. It is a colorful well designed piece of art that I sent out to every firm in wellington. Only receiving back replies of currently not adding to their work staff and invitations to happy hour and for tea, with one invitation to a office putting competition, what I have learned is that a large firm in wellington is about 10 people, and a medium is 4-6. Also it seems that NZ firms are not laying people off, and have not seen their project load diminish that much, they are just sitting back and waiting to see where this world economic downturn leads the projects in New Zealand.
I decided to not let this get me down and use this as an opportunity to explore other interests in the world of design. So I adjusted my resume and sent it out to a series of different exhibition design companies, only 5 really in wellington. I received a response from Izzat Design, a company that does both exhibition design as well as everything under the sun including props and sets for movies. Their response was “we really want to meet you and we can schedule a time for you to come in to visit”. Now being how casual things are here I wasn’t sure if this was just another meet and greet or an interview so I prepared for both. I arrived at what was a large warehouse in the Miramar section of wellington better known for the studios that Peter Jackson owns and the Weta workshop/digital where a load of Lord of the Rings was produced, never mind several other projects. In this extremely large warehouse was 4 really cool guys who seem to just play around designing and producing stuff all day, my kind of environment. It ended up being an informal interview with them looking for someone with computer drafting experience given they are more hands on designers and just create, but they would need someone to take their ideas and produce them into drawings. I received a tour of their studio/warehouse which was amazing. They do everything, including having several dozen roman helmets that they cast for an upcoming Jesus epic that was/is to be filmed in NZ called “Kingdom come” but has been put on hold after the US filmmakers already spent upwards of $80 million on preproduction and sets are set up all over NZ. So it seems this was a very productive visit and hopefully something will materialize.
However with funds starting to run short I need to start looking into other prospects. Currently looking at retail and bar work but think that maybe this is the time to start focusing on my own art and my design company KMNdesign, http://www.kmndesign.com/. Again maybe this is fates way of getting my creative juices flowing and really doing the thing I have always wanted to do in making KMNdesign a fully functioning entity. All I know is I will do what I do best and DESIGN!!!!
I spent the first two weeks in Wellington, post flatmate search, working on my resume. Of course being Kristen M. Neri I could not just let my resume be a black and white list of achievements and experiences but had to make it something truly Kristen. It is a colorful well designed piece of art that I sent out to every firm in wellington. Only receiving back replies of currently not adding to their work staff and invitations to happy hour and for tea, with one invitation to a office putting competition, what I have learned is that a large firm in wellington is about 10 people, and a medium is 4-6. Also it seems that NZ firms are not laying people off, and have not seen their project load diminish that much, they are just sitting back and waiting to see where this world economic downturn leads the projects in New Zealand.
I decided to not let this get me down and use this as an opportunity to explore other interests in the world of design. So I adjusted my resume and sent it out to a series of different exhibition design companies, only 5 really in wellington. I received a response from Izzat Design, a company that does both exhibition design as well as everything under the sun including props and sets for movies. Their response was “we really want to meet you and we can schedule a time for you to come in to visit”. Now being how casual things are here I wasn’t sure if this was just another meet and greet or an interview so I prepared for both. I arrived at what was a large warehouse in the Miramar section of wellington better known for the studios that Peter Jackson owns and the Weta workshop/digital where a load of Lord of the Rings was produced, never mind several other projects. In this extremely large warehouse was 4 really cool guys who seem to just play around designing and producing stuff all day, my kind of environment. It ended up being an informal interview with them looking for someone with computer drafting experience given they are more hands on designers and just create, but they would need someone to take their ideas and produce them into drawings. I received a tour of their studio/warehouse which was amazing. They do everything, including having several dozen roman helmets that they cast for an upcoming Jesus epic that was/is to be filmed in NZ called “Kingdom come” but has been put on hold after the US filmmakers already spent upwards of $80 million on preproduction and sets are set up all over NZ. So it seems this was a very productive visit and hopefully something will materialize.
However with funds starting to run short I need to start looking into other prospects. Currently looking at retail and bar work but think that maybe this is the time to start focusing on my own art and my design company KMNdesign, http://www.kmndesign.com/. Again maybe this is fates way of getting my creative juices flowing and really doing the thing I have always wanted to do in making KMNdesign a fully functioning entity. All I know is I will do what I do best and DESIGN!!!!
The Good, The Bad and the New Roommate
The roommate search began, and I was determined as ever to find a cool new flatmate. Figuring that maybe this was fates way of sending me a cooler, better roommate I was going to make the best of the situation. I posted an add in Trade Me as it seems to be THE way to find anything and everything in New Zealand. Next thing I knew I was receiving texts and emails left and right, so I set up a schedule for Saturday to show the flat hoping that by Sunday I would have a new flatmate. The landlord was only making me pay my half the rent until Feb 14th but I was hoping to find someone to move in sooner as I wanted to meet new people and create a new wellington circle of friends.
Thursday and Friday I spent going through the things the people prior left. There was food in the fridge, including pumpkin pie, milk, and several other gross things I needed to throw out. Dirty laundry still in two laundry baskets, toiletries, bags of clothes, furniture, a nice bottle of 2002 wine unopened, vacuum cleaners, art on the walls, it seemed as Petal must have left in a hurry. Either way I seem to have lucked out given the amount of stuff left behind.
Showing the flat was fun, one girl was a playwright and director, another guy was a musician going to get his masters, a journalist for Sky News who came with a "42 inch TV and free Sky (cable)". One stood out though, this guy Tim. I wasn’t sure how I felt about a male flat mate but given I tend to get along with guys better than girls, with the exception of girls who also get along better with guys, I figured given the right person it would be ok. Tim seemed cool, well traveled as he had lived in Japan before and just got back from a trip to Singapore with his girlfriend, and he asked if I liked to go camping and the outdoors. I figured he would be the best as he seemed the most outgoing. So I offered him the spot and he moved in the following week.
Little did I know just what was about to transpire. The first thing he did when he moved in was go through the cupboards that I already went through, and the fridge, that I already went through, and created designated shelves. Ok...I can live with that I thought. Next he cleaned down EVERY spot of the flat, including getting a germ killing spray and spraying down EVERYTHING. "You never know who has done what on these floors" He said. The one thing he did that killed me was shut all of the curtains in the living room. We have a great view of the city and you can see the harbor from our living room. But he shut the curtains and every day since he closes them when he sits in the living room, he does open them a slight bit in the morning though to let my plants get a little bit of light. Being very passive aggressive he constantly asks me things indirectly, like "so are the plants inside because its too cold or too hot out?" He never goes out and seems to only hang out with his girlfriend on the weekends, and one other Japanese friend. Once we finally got internet in the flat all he does is sit in the living room and play with his laptop, even when I try and converse he just sits there with a blank stare at his computer. And I cannot even joke with him as he takes everything as a personal attack. There are many other stories...and my friends have started calling him "Tim, nice but dim".
So one night he asks me if there is "anyone special" back in DC. I respond with my usual... "I’m not really a relationship person, I don’t need to be in one and if one comes around well great but its not something I’m searching for and I would rather be in no relationship than be in one just for the sake of being in a relationship", blah blah blah. Well we go out to dinner one night with his girlfriend and his Japanese friend. While at dinner he takes the beer/wine list and gives it to me condescendingly saying "you will be needing this" as if I am some sort of alcoholic because I enjoy a beer or wine with dinner every so often. Then he asks "so where do you go next, where do you settle". HERE WE GO! "I don’t ever plan on settling, I love travel and have lived a great life so I have no idea where I might end up. Maybe London, maybe back in DC, I have loved all of those places but who knows where life might take me. I’m on the Kristen train and its full steam ahead!" His girlfriend says "Well maybe she will meet a nice kiwi boy and settle here!" To which Tim replies "that’s not her priority" as if he knows everything about me from one discussion. We then go for coffee which brings a glass of wine and more condescending looks.
Well being a very vibrant person and finding that Tim seems to suck the life out of me and everything around him, things came to a head. The first was I came home from the bars one night after going out with Neil for a few beers. We, as we do, had some crazy/amazing discussions trying to cure the world of all its ills and he was going to pass out at my place. We of course continue discussing the worlds problems, the arts, etc. and Tim send a crazy text saying he can hear us talking two rooms away in the lounge and cant sleep because of it. Then a few weeks later I am hanging out with the girl who lives upstairs, abby, and chatting in the lounge again trying to be as quiet as possible given the first text. Another passive aggressive text later I have had it. Monday comes around and when I get home he quickly retreats into his room for an hour then leaves. “He just emailed me instead of talking to me…I know it” I thought to myself. I was dead on. His email included a very long demanding list of how to live in the flat, including “turn all appliances/TV off at the outlet, here there are switches at the outlets, make sure hands are clean before touching the remotes, clean down the microwave after every use, and finally at the end the reason for the whole email “be quiet as he is a VERY light sleeper”. The oddest part was at the end when he said “I just want to take care of myself, and take care of you”. Which being the overly independent person I am really freaked me out. So I replied with saying “I don’t respond well to list, I tend to rebel from them actually. Every flat I have lived in we have had a just be tidy understanding and if anyone wants any extra cleaning they do it themselves. And im sorry you have trouble sleeping but I have not been disrespectful at all and being me I cant be in a situation where having people over on the weekends and a bit of chatting 2 rooms away is a problem, I understand if because of your sleeping problems you need to find a new place”.
So when he comes home from work that day I ask to discuss his very odd email. He basically became a mumbling idiot not able to at all have this conversation. His email was a way of taking control of the flat, of having me be submissive and listen to him, which I can tell you is exactly how he treats his girlfriend and his friends. For anyone who has ever met me…this is not going to fly! There was no, please, or thank you, or a suggestion that this was a conversation to come up with a set of flat rules…it was a pure list of demands. But in his mumbling he said that I was not “being disrespectful” and everything in my email can be our standard”.
End of day I have no idea how I got myself into this situation and my cool flatmate radar went out the window, nor how to fully resolve my somewhat crazy roommate situation..but I do know it makes for one interesting story.
Thursday and Friday I spent going through the things the people prior left. There was food in the fridge, including pumpkin pie, milk, and several other gross things I needed to throw out. Dirty laundry still in two laundry baskets, toiletries, bags of clothes, furniture, a nice bottle of 2002 wine unopened, vacuum cleaners, art on the walls, it seemed as Petal must have left in a hurry. Either way I seem to have lucked out given the amount of stuff left behind.
Showing the flat was fun, one girl was a playwright and director, another guy was a musician going to get his masters, a journalist for Sky News who came with a "42 inch TV and free Sky (cable)". One stood out though, this guy Tim. I wasn’t sure how I felt about a male flat mate but given I tend to get along with guys better than girls, with the exception of girls who also get along better with guys, I figured given the right person it would be ok. Tim seemed cool, well traveled as he had lived in Japan before and just got back from a trip to Singapore with his girlfriend, and he asked if I liked to go camping and the outdoors. I figured he would be the best as he seemed the most outgoing. So I offered him the spot and he moved in the following week.
Little did I know just what was about to transpire. The first thing he did when he moved in was go through the cupboards that I already went through, and the fridge, that I already went through, and created designated shelves. Ok...I can live with that I thought. Next he cleaned down EVERY spot of the flat, including getting a germ killing spray and spraying down EVERYTHING. "You never know who has done what on these floors" He said. The one thing he did that killed me was shut all of the curtains in the living room. We have a great view of the city and you can see the harbor from our living room. But he shut the curtains and every day since he closes them when he sits in the living room, he does open them a slight bit in the morning though to let my plants get a little bit of light. Being very passive aggressive he constantly asks me things indirectly, like "so are the plants inside because its too cold or too hot out?" He never goes out and seems to only hang out with his girlfriend on the weekends, and one other Japanese friend. Once we finally got internet in the flat all he does is sit in the living room and play with his laptop, even when I try and converse he just sits there with a blank stare at his computer. And I cannot even joke with him as he takes everything as a personal attack. There are many other stories...and my friends have started calling him "Tim, nice but dim".
So one night he asks me if there is "anyone special" back in DC. I respond with my usual... "I’m not really a relationship person, I don’t need to be in one and if one comes around well great but its not something I’m searching for and I would rather be in no relationship than be in one just for the sake of being in a relationship", blah blah blah. Well we go out to dinner one night with his girlfriend and his Japanese friend. While at dinner he takes the beer/wine list and gives it to me condescendingly saying "you will be needing this" as if I am some sort of alcoholic because I enjoy a beer or wine with dinner every so often. Then he asks "so where do you go next, where do you settle". HERE WE GO! "I don’t ever plan on settling, I love travel and have lived a great life so I have no idea where I might end up. Maybe London, maybe back in DC, I have loved all of those places but who knows where life might take me. I’m on the Kristen train and its full steam ahead!" His girlfriend says "Well maybe she will meet a nice kiwi boy and settle here!" To which Tim replies "that’s not her priority" as if he knows everything about me from one discussion. We then go for coffee which brings a glass of wine and more condescending looks.
Well being a very vibrant person and finding that Tim seems to suck the life out of me and everything around him, things came to a head. The first was I came home from the bars one night after going out with Neil for a few beers. We, as we do, had some crazy/amazing discussions trying to cure the world of all its ills and he was going to pass out at my place. We of course continue discussing the worlds problems, the arts, etc. and Tim send a crazy text saying he can hear us talking two rooms away in the lounge and cant sleep because of it. Then a few weeks later I am hanging out with the girl who lives upstairs, abby, and chatting in the lounge again trying to be as quiet as possible given the first text. Another passive aggressive text later I have had it. Monday comes around and when I get home he quickly retreats into his room for an hour then leaves. “He just emailed me instead of talking to me…I know it” I thought to myself. I was dead on. His email included a very long demanding list of how to live in the flat, including “turn all appliances/TV off at the outlet, here there are switches at the outlets, make sure hands are clean before touching the remotes, clean down the microwave after every use, and finally at the end the reason for the whole email “be quiet as he is a VERY light sleeper”. The oddest part was at the end when he said “I just want to take care of myself, and take care of you”. Which being the overly independent person I am really freaked me out. So I replied with saying “I don’t respond well to list, I tend to rebel from them actually. Every flat I have lived in we have had a just be tidy understanding and if anyone wants any extra cleaning they do it themselves. And im sorry you have trouble sleeping but I have not been disrespectful at all and being me I cant be in a situation where having people over on the weekends and a bit of chatting 2 rooms away is a problem, I understand if because of your sleeping problems you need to find a new place”.
So when he comes home from work that day I ask to discuss his very odd email. He basically became a mumbling idiot not able to at all have this conversation. His email was a way of taking control of the flat, of having me be submissive and listen to him, which I can tell you is exactly how he treats his girlfriend and his friends. For anyone who has ever met me…this is not going to fly! There was no, please, or thank you, or a suggestion that this was a conversation to come up with a set of flat rules…it was a pure list of demands. But in his mumbling he said that I was not “being disrespectful” and everything in my email can be our standard”.
End of day I have no idea how I got myself into this situation and my cool flatmate radar went out the window, nor how to fully resolve my somewhat crazy roommate situation..but I do know it makes for one interesting story.
21 January 2009: A 5 Piece Bedroom Set
I woke up Tuesday with 2 things on my mind. First I REALLY need to start this roommate search, and second I REALLY need to pick up my 5 piece bedroom set. I guess with petal moving out I now knew the larger room was mine! However I would now need to move the bed currently in the room and my 5 piece bedroom set without the help of Petal. I also had scheduled to pick up the bedroom set from the woman selling it on Thursday and had booked a van for my mission. During my panic the night before after learning of my flatmate performing a "runner" as they say here, I did something I said I wouldn’t, at least not for a month, I texted Neil. Now without going into too much detail as this could be the subject of a full novel, I met Neil last year in Mahia, the location of my friend Faye and Niall's wedding, while traveling around New Zealand for 3 Weeks. What happened was a New Zealand Summer vacation romance, the kind of which you only see in movies or read about in books. Certainly not something that happens to me...but it did. Being too good to be true and with typical Kristen Neri relationship luck he later divulged that he had a long term girlfriend with whom he wanted to work things out with. After receiving 3 songs, 2 poems, and countless emails, I spent the spring and summer in a emotional rollercoaster while trying to transform all of those feelings into a friendship. The decision came in August or September that we should end our emailing and texting and that once I moved to Wellington I wanted to give myself a month to set my new life up, make my own friends. Then we could get together for a beer and see if this friendship would really work.
The only other person I knew in Wellington other than Petal was Neil and so he was the obvious choice to ask to help me move my furniture. He agreed. The last time I had seen him it was an extremely emotional Wellington goodbye, but weirdly enough when the time came I wasn’t nervous to see him again but extremely excited to catch up with a good friend. Seeing Neil again was like a breath of fresh air…all of my concerns went out the window and I actually had fun moving furniture, chatting, and laughing. After getting the bed, 2 dressers, and two side tables inside the flat and set up, we returned the rental van. I accidently left my CD in the van and the radio at FULL volume, realizing it only when I was about to leave and the rental car guy turned on the car to check the mileage, or I guess here kilometerage???, and out came blasting a song from my CD. I quickly turned around and screamed “OH MY CD” in typical Neri fashion, ran and got my CD back… Phew. We then went to get a beer by the harbor, chatted about everything and anything, and discussed how awesome it was to have this, to be able to get back to a friendship after all. Next step would be to meet the girlfriend, something I was now able and ready to do.
The only other person I knew in Wellington other than Petal was Neil and so he was the obvious choice to ask to help me move my furniture. He agreed. The last time I had seen him it was an extremely emotional Wellington goodbye, but weirdly enough when the time came I wasn’t nervous to see him again but extremely excited to catch up with a good friend. Seeing Neil again was like a breath of fresh air…all of my concerns went out the window and I actually had fun moving furniture, chatting, and laughing. After getting the bed, 2 dressers, and two side tables inside the flat and set up, we returned the rental van. I accidently left my CD in the van and the radio at FULL volume, realizing it only when I was about to leave and the rental car guy turned on the car to check the mileage, or I guess here kilometerage???, and out came blasting a song from my CD. I quickly turned around and screamed “OH MY CD” in typical Neri fashion, ran and got my CD back… Phew. We then went to get a beer by the harbor, chatted about everything and anything, and discussed how awesome it was to have this, to be able to get back to a friendship after all. Next step would be to meet the girlfriend, something I was now able and ready to do.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
19 January 2009: Wellington Arrival
Despite ALL of the advice from kiwi friends who know better, I decided to make the 8 hour drive down to Wellington from Auckland in one big push. I was just too excited to start my new life in my new city after 3+ weeks of traveling to take any excursions. Plus I have the whole next year to explore New Zealand and my former neighbor in DC, Obama, was being inagurated the next day and wanted to be able to watch it. So I drove, with only one stop in hamilton to head to their version of walmart, the wharehouse, to purchase bed linens and pillows for the air mattress my roommate had promised would be waiting in my new room.
Upon arriving in wellington around 7 pm I looked in the mailbox for the key that my roommate had emailed to say she left me incase she wasnt around. I met my roommate Petal at the New Zealand embassy in DC back in June of 2008 where we had both gone for an informational session on Visas and work permits. She had traveled up from NYC for the session and I had hobbled in with the help of my sister, crutches, and boot post freak skateboarding accident May 25th in Park Slope Brooklyn. After the session we exchanged email addressses and kept intouch durring the summer and fall. She had moved to NZ in August and was a wealth of knowledge about what to bring with and what to sell in the states. A month prior leaving for NZ she emailed and said that her roommate was moving back to Germany and she was looking for someone to take her roommates place. If I was interested I could sublet from Mid January to Mid February then sign a year lease If I liked the place. She emailed photos and I looked it up on Google Earth. Being too good of an opportunity to pass up I told her a resounding YES. So here I was, I used the key, entered the apartment, which was exactly as pictured, and was a bit confused as to which room was mine. I had asked for the larger bedroom with bay windows however there was still furniture in that room and the blow up mattress i was told I could use was in the smaller room. So I brought all my items in and temporarily set myself up in the smaller room. There were no clothes in either wardrobe so I figured I could talk to Petal when she returned from whatever trip she might be on and see what room was to be mine. I was aiming for the larger one since the week before I had purchased a 5 piece bedroom set off the always useful Trade-me and was to pick it up this week, hopefully with the help of Petal. I took a quick look in the fridge and cupbords before heading to the grocery store. After an hour of getting lost on windy hilly roads I finally found a store, picked up the basics and headed back to the flat. I cooked dinner, set up the air mattress with my brand new sheets, duvet, and pillows, watched a dvd on my computer and then went to sleep.
The next day I immediately headed to a cafe to email Petal letting her know I had arrived in the flat so I wouldnt surprise her upon her arrival back, as well as start the daunting task of setting up my resume so I could commence the job search. I spent the rest of the day walking around wellington, then driving to the beach, and then back to the house for dinner. I actually ended up avoiding watching the innaguration as it would have made me a bit homesick for DC and I wanted to fully enjoy setting myself up in Wellington. The evening brought a new surprise! While cooking dinner I noticed someone walk by the bay windows, then there was a knock at the door. It was the landlord, who somewhat looked at me dumbfoundedly. "I just recieved an email from Petal about an hour ago saying that she has vacated the flat, has moved back to the states, and that you are here living in the flat and expecting to take over her part of the lease until February 14th. I came over as soon as I recieved this to see what was going on." Now I was dumbfounded! I had not signed a lease, paid a bond, or anything. Petal had said we could take care of the techincalities with the landlord as soon as I arrived. Now here I am nothing tying me to this flat that in reality Im not suposed to be living in. Luckly she had talked to the landlord, Chris, prior and told him about our previous plans and he knew who I was and that I was an architect moving here from the states. However nothing can describe the ackward incident between me and the landlord at the door of the flat as we had both been blindsided by the whole situation.
Luckly he was nice about it all, allowed me to stay in the flat, sign a sublet until Feb 14th and only pay my half of the rent. The aggreement was also that if I was interested in keeping the flat I needed to sign a new year lease, that would start on Feb 14th, the next week, meaning I needed to find a new flatmate by then. After he left I had a slight bit of a freek out contacting everyone I knew in NZ to see what to do. Then in typical Neri fashion I became determined to find a flatmate and make this just another one of those situations that only seem to happen to me but end up turning into something for the better.
Upon arriving in wellington around 7 pm I looked in the mailbox for the key that my roommate had emailed to say she left me incase she wasnt around. I met my roommate Petal at the New Zealand embassy in DC back in June of 2008 where we had both gone for an informational session on Visas and work permits. She had traveled up from NYC for the session and I had hobbled in with the help of my sister, crutches, and boot post freak skateboarding accident May 25th in Park Slope Brooklyn. After the session we exchanged email addressses and kept intouch durring the summer and fall. She had moved to NZ in August and was a wealth of knowledge about what to bring with and what to sell in the states. A month prior leaving for NZ she emailed and said that her roommate was moving back to Germany and she was looking for someone to take her roommates place. If I was interested I could sublet from Mid January to Mid February then sign a year lease If I liked the place. She emailed photos and I looked it up on Google Earth. Being too good of an opportunity to pass up I told her a resounding YES. So here I was, I used the key, entered the apartment, which was exactly as pictured, and was a bit confused as to which room was mine. I had asked for the larger bedroom with bay windows however there was still furniture in that room and the blow up mattress i was told I could use was in the smaller room. So I brought all my items in and temporarily set myself up in the smaller room. There were no clothes in either wardrobe so I figured I could talk to Petal when she returned from whatever trip she might be on and see what room was to be mine. I was aiming for the larger one since the week before I had purchased a 5 piece bedroom set off the always useful Trade-me and was to pick it up this week, hopefully with the help of Petal. I took a quick look in the fridge and cupbords before heading to the grocery store. After an hour of getting lost on windy hilly roads I finally found a store, picked up the basics and headed back to the flat. I cooked dinner, set up the air mattress with my brand new sheets, duvet, and pillows, watched a dvd on my computer and then went to sleep.
The next day I immediately headed to a cafe to email Petal letting her know I had arrived in the flat so I wouldnt surprise her upon her arrival back, as well as start the daunting task of setting up my resume so I could commence the job search. I spent the rest of the day walking around wellington, then driving to the beach, and then back to the house for dinner. I actually ended up avoiding watching the innaguration as it would have made me a bit homesick for DC and I wanted to fully enjoy setting myself up in Wellington. The evening brought a new surprise! While cooking dinner I noticed someone walk by the bay windows, then there was a knock at the door. It was the landlord, who somewhat looked at me dumbfoundedly. "I just recieved an email from Petal about an hour ago saying that she has vacated the flat, has moved back to the states, and that you are here living in the flat and expecting to take over her part of the lease until February 14th. I came over as soon as I recieved this to see what was going on." Now I was dumbfounded! I had not signed a lease, paid a bond, or anything. Petal had said we could take care of the techincalities with the landlord as soon as I arrived. Now here I am nothing tying me to this flat that in reality Im not suposed to be living in. Luckly she had talked to the landlord, Chris, prior and told him about our previous plans and he knew who I was and that I was an architect moving here from the states. However nothing can describe the ackward incident between me and the landlord at the door of the flat as we had both been blindsided by the whole situation.
Luckly he was nice about it all, allowed me to stay in the flat, sign a sublet until Feb 14th and only pay my half of the rent. The aggreement was also that if I was interested in keeping the flat I needed to sign a new year lease, that would start on Feb 14th, the next week, meaning I needed to find a new flatmate by then. After he left I had a slight bit of a freek out contacting everyone I knew in NZ to see what to do. Then in typical Neri fashion I became determined to find a flatmate and make this just another one of those situations that only seem to happen to me but end up turning into something for the better.
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